I TURNED 47 THIS WEEK AND...

I was working in my studio, contemplating my life (laying around staring at the wall) and wondered where it had all gone (I had to go to the bathroom). While standing at the open window of the bathroom (hanging out of the open window because I was having a hot flash), I see this outside of the 5^th floor bathroom window:

NOT ENCOURAGING FOR ARTISTS

Isn't it comforting when you find that you aren't the only one contemplating their life from a window ledge?

What lies below that window ledge...

WHY TOLEDO CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS

At least once a week, a car or two has their windows smashed and the owner will find things missing from said automobile. The broken glass adds a certain ambiance to the already terrifying Jefferson Avenue. We manage to keep the police officers at a distance. I am not sure HOW we do it, but we do. I do often wonder how it is that we all get parking tickets every hour on the hour from the PARKSMART city workers but they never seem to be around when the bad guys are using artist's cars as piñatas.

THEY WILL STEAL THE CHANGE OUT OF YOUR ASHTRAY

RECOGNIZE!
It was difficult deciding which one of these honors to present first –I decided to go with the most exciting for me: PEPPER SPRAYING COP GOES LA GROTTE CHAUVET PONT d'ARC!

I made the cut on the TUMBLR meme protest, and now I am creeping across the psyche of the web.

CLICK TO SEE ON TUMBLR

“Morguk got wasted and rolled his razor scooter again. God dammit, now we have to schlep all the way over the Euphrates to get parts for that damn thing. Again. Grounding doesn’t work. Taking away internet privileges doesn’t work. Should we send him to boarding school? Would that make us bad parentsAUUAHHAGHAGAHAGHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”

If you wish to see all of the places that this image has infiltrated (I vanity Google for fun), click on the links and know that I bask in the internets glory... even though it is anonymous.

20 of the BEST
http://blog.gaborit-d.com/20-parodies-du-policier-qui-a-envoye-du-spay-a-uc-davis/

the french love me.

I'm #1

http://annagaloreleblog.blogs-de-voyage.fr/

I am #1 on his list of favorites. He’s French. The French love cave paintings.

My Favorite
http://archaeopop.blogspot.com/2011/11/pepper-spraying-cop-meme-goes.html

http://www.occupythegame.com/lieutenant_john_pike/

http://designyoutrust.com/2011/11/23/20-best-pepper-spraying-cop-parody/

http://www.theplatform.info/feedcontent/article/75965

http://www.quora.com/Internet-Memes/What-are-the-best-Occupy-Cop-Casually-Pepper-Sprays-images

http://www.webnoviny.sk/svet/policajt-ktory-striekal-sprej-sa-stal/432616-clanok.html

http://www.laobserved.com/archive/2011/11/bratton_called_into_uc_da.php

And now... LOOK!

MY IMAGE

MY EGO

PUBLISHED!

My business card was chosen to be included in David E. Carter’s BUSINESS CARDS 1 - BRIGHT IDEAS IN DESIGN coming out in 2012. (This means another MAZIE award – w00t!!).

OCCUPYING ON SABBATICAL
Occupy Toledo has decided upon a seasonal sabbatical due to the fact that it gets colder and icier than hell in this our Toledo, Ohio. In their honor, I took a McDonald's®, Happy Meal™ Toy featuring a character from Disney's©®™, Dreamworks™ Puss-N-Boots©™.

I also landed an acting gig! Yes, that theatre degree paid off!

EAST SIDE
Here are some artistic views of the East Side from Water Street. Try not to be jealous of the beautiful landscape. After all, we all can't live in this paradise.

 

This is Yours Truly lounging on the banks of the Mighty Maumee River on my birthday:

YOU KNOW IT'S MY BIRTHDAY BECAUSE
I'M IN MY BIRTHDAY SUIT.

TIS THE SEASON

I went to HOBBY LOBBY for a big BLACK FRIDAY WEEKEND adventure. At the door is the holiday stable of the Salvation Army bell ringer. He was a trip. He was funny and charming. Even the Salvation Army is "anti homo" (as Honorable Daughter #2 says), I donated money and took a piccie of Honorable Daughter #1 shoving it in the bucket.

Have you ever given money to charity only to later realize you grabbed the "wrong" bill from your wallet? I thought about going back and asking for change because it would be funny... but even I felt funny about doing that. I apologized to Honorable Daughter #2 for giving substantial money to "Anti Homos." She patted me on the head, reassuring me that it was ok -- that it could go to a family where they are closeted. Either way, someone is going to get to eat.

CAN YOU MAKE CHANGE?

BEST ANTI HOMO BELL RINGER - EVER!!!

FOR THE LONELY

NEXT, ON ANIMAL HOARDERS...

BUNNIES
Do not ever underestimate the intelligence of a rabbit.

LANCE BREAKING INTO THE FOOD BIN

 

AFTER A LONG DAY OF CHEWING ON
MY DRAWING PAPER, LANCE IS OUT COLD

Do not ever underestimate the ability to bond with a rabbit.

RUSSETTE SNUGGLING AND KEEPING ME COMPANY

Do not ever underestimate the the power of The Sims Social on Facebook.

I HAS A BUNNEH IN MAH YARD!

STUDIO 566

HARLOW

BLARRRRRRRGH!

LAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

PROJECT LUST
My next assignment was to develop a text illustration for LUST. I borrowed elements from the woman illustration. This is the strongest decorative text:

With added elements:

Some tweaking of the tentacles still needed... God knows we all need a good tentacle tweaking once in a while.


THE END

Peeking Inside

My illustration class is going swimmingly. I thought I would take you (my minions) through parts of my creative process. Please drink a lot of coffee, take some Xanax and enjoy the ride:

WEEEEEEEEEE!

This week's Gold Filigree Framed Xanax art brought to you by TUMBLR.


THUMBNAILS TO TENTACLE
Deciding upon the one deadly sin was not difficult. Lust seemed like a decent choice open to all kind of creativity. Plus, I figured that I would not draw a rabbit of any kind. The project turned out to be more of a challenge than I expected. I was originally shooting for an HR GIGER pinup type of girl.

NOT A GIGER BUT LEAVES ME FEELING
JUST AS CONFUSED

As I mentioned before, I am not HR Giger (not since the meds were readjusted, anyway) so my adventure was fruitless. I focused on one of my jabillion thumbnails inspired by this:

I GOOGLED "LONGEST TONGUE" -- NOT FOR THE PROJECT,
JUST BECAUSE IT'S WHAT I DO. AND WOULDN'T YA KNOW IT
IT INSPIRED ME.

I rendered my new thumbnail in half size then did a morgue sketch to work from for my illustration. All the time I am spending much time avoiding the task at hand (ergo the GOOGLING) -- staring at my wall (I don't know what that one spot is), watching Law & Order, walking around downtown hoping to capture the city's yummy goodness on my digital camera (which I did and will be blogging about why Toledo, Ohio can't have nice things at a later date...)

THUMBNAIL TO HALF SIZED GOODNESS

MODEL

I did not want to go any farther. I rather admired my smokey-eyed-long-tongued lass. I made the tattoo smaller because... well... I'm lazy. I didn't feel like drawing it all out. The next step was to scan the above and render in Illustrator. I realize many people love the trace tool. I, however, do not. I used a combination of CALLIGRAPHY BRUSHES with edited angles and sizes with some WACOM brushes.

FIRST VERSION

As you see, I added organic swirly curls because when it was the face and tongue alone, the face was extremely masculine. Although I had no objection to the idea of a transvestite, I was feeling my message was getting lost. Let's face it, she resembled Frankenfurter.

LIKE A BOSS

The woman was horizontally flipped in order to have the tongue reminiscent of a question mark...  I added stars for two reasons: one, it is symbolic of lost souls and two, there is a really cool TINY STARS scatter brush in Illustrator.

I had to add a tentacle somewhere because I am good that way:

MY HOMAGE TO SHOKUSHU GOUKAN

COLOR MY WILL GOOD
The next step is to add color. I floated around the world wide webs looking at color trends in design and fashion. I will never be the same. I will also have to make a trip to Good Will if I wish to be "color ready" for this color season. My wardrobe consists of T shirts and jammy pants -- none of which are the cool blues/greens or warm reds/oranges that will be flooding the runway and industry!

I SHOP HERE

My latest renderings are as follows:

COOL CONCUPISCENCE

LAVENDER LASCIVIOUSNESS

COMPLEMENTARY CARNALITY

Although I gravitate to the first design, I believe the last is the strongest. It's the hair. I think because I was once traumatized by Ronald McDonald. I was 15 years old and attending a parade that my adult sister was marching in. The Grand Marshall was... Ron. I can call him "Ron" after said event. He saw me standing at the side of the street. He smiled. Then, I saw his big red shoes make their way over to me. MY GOD. He slinks up beside me with a, "Heyyyyy - " Before he got to the secret ingredient of his special sausce, I said, "I'm 15." All of my dreams of being Mrs. McDonald were CRUSHED.

YOU ARE ONE HOT HAPPY MEAL, SISTER

Stay tuned for next week's episode when I reveal TEXTURES.








THE END

SHATTERED DREAMS

CLASS IN THESE HERE TOLEDO, OHIO

DETROIT PRINCESS EXITS TOLEDO STAGE LEFT

Imagine my surprise upon waking one morning and seeing this news story:

http://www.13abc.com/story/15971960/princess-cruise-cancelled-after-fight-breaks-out

In Toledo Friday night, 600 people were on the Detroit Princess Boat in two ballrooms when a half dozen people started to fight on the lower level ballroom floor. Witnesses said, at one point, up 100 people were participating in the fight.

Friday was the hip-hop crowd and Saturday was supposed to be the R&B crowd. The boat is equipped with half a dozen on-board security officers during a cruise and other staff trained to move passengers out of trouble.
All passengers are patted down when they board, whether in Toledo or Detroit. Toledo police were called and sent two dozen officers to the boat. One arrest was made, but more are possible.

Did you imagine my surprise? Did you? No? PROBABLY BECAUSE I WAS NOT SURPRISED.
Only Toledo can force a Detroit Princess cruise line to literally haul up anchor and LEAVE.

NOT OCCUPYING TOLEDO

MEANWHILE, BACK AT THE RANCH...

RIBBONS!

I am still waiting for the T Shirt sample of that nightmare job I blogged about. Still. The shirts have been long printed and sold. My portfolio grows dust waiting for this sample. *sigh* So instead of sharing my non existant sample with you, I would like to announce my latest accomplishments:

    Three entered pieces won three ribbons!

  

OMG! OMG! RIBBONS!!

LOOK AT THEM

The 2nd place ribbon for POP CULTURE (A Coca-Cola© bottle) is a special honor as it is my first award for a painting as a medium. I am also awaiting the day when I can afford to frame some of my NEW pieces in order to show them...

MY FANTASY VS MY REALITY FRAMING

Because everything looks better in giant golden garish filigree --You know it does.

SEE!??

Exceptionally bad art brought to you by: http://museumofbadart.org

IT'S PHALLIC

NOTHIN’ BUT CLASS
A new quarter and class has begun and I am currently working on an illustration for one of the Seven Deadly Sins. The sin? LUST. I gathered the messege that I wished to communicate as well as a kicking quote from the Marquis de Sade. I am, however, struggling with this project. So far, I have narrowed down 20 thumbnails looking for a representational symbol. My abstract symbol (inspired by a live model) was wildly successful!

I am hoping for a FREUDIAN RIBBON next!

The above are my thumbnails. I went for Giger and got... I have no idea. Maybe I should have simply gone for Collins. My concept is to convey extreme sexual want/hunger with the pitfall of careless sex. I wanted to capture, not so much prudishness, but where an addiction to it all can lead. I want to create a piece that if faced with what is presented, one would actually be willing to toss over their own safety for that immediate gratification.

Although the nun works for the piece. As does the serpentine tongue. The last thumbnail is one of my rabbits staring at me while I sketched the thumbnails. I felt mocked.

I MOCK YOU! ALWAYS!

I MADE SALES!



I never thought I would ever live to see the day that I would thank listeners of talk radio...

BUY THIS MUG HERE:

http://www.zazzle.com/wspd_radio_waves_mug-168262102143066726

I love SPACE BUN. It is one of my favorite designs.

BUY THIS HOODIE HERE:

http://www.zazzle.com/space_bun_tshirt-235574715736751043

It’s official: I CAN pay the cable bill this month! Which, come to think of it, I better pay...









I AM BETTER THAN YOUR KIDS

http://www.iambetterthanyourkids.com/

Here is a sample of this exquisite website:

I am Maddox, a 32-year-old computer programmer and writer. I can spell, draw, and do math better than your kids, so I've taken the liberty to judge work done by children. I'll be assigning a grade of A through F for each piece:

"Guy Fawkes, one of five conspirators in the "gunpowder" plot to blow up parliament, depicted here as a haughty queen, standing near a gray flower."

OCCUPY ANONYMOUS

Speaking of which--South Park is even getting in on the act:

One reason that I love South Park is that they attack us all. Occupy Red Robin looked a lot like Occupy Toledo. View for yourself:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f8iJLa0UxTU
(No preview image available)



OCCUPYING

HE GOES BY "ACHILLES"

SEE!??

To update one and all: Occupy Toledo are still occupying. Now, various Occupiers all over this nation are starting to shoot and kill each other, rape each other, spread TB (blamed on the homeless), commit suicide and endanger the children they drag out there with them. One group elected a dog as their leader. Good choice. Woof!

BOW TO THE WOW

Nothing so dramatic HERE... but they ARE trying. Two members
(count them, 2) were arrested because they took a hand drawn sign into a city council meeting. Do not underestimate the ability to incur paper cuts on city council members with poster board. I feel the TRUE issue is about NOT hiring a professional graphic designer for the sign and NOT getting it professionally printed. I'M TIRED OF THE 99% MAN!

The two people are being charged with resisting arrest. They said they never TOUCHED any of the officers. Should I send an anonymous letter explaining the difference between assault and resisting? The ACLU has since been called in. The Occupiers here (Achilles included) were granted 2 weeks worth of tents. Oh boy.

JOKE
Q: Why is Occupy Toledo like the circus?
A: IT'S IN TENTS!!!!

(intense - in tents - circus?) - well it isn't funny if I have to explain it.

STUDIO 566

DRAMATIC

HONORABLE DAUGHTER #1 IS EXPECTING

SIMS UPDATE

 

Uncanny, isn't it?




THE END