CLASS IN THESE HERE TOLEDO, OHIO

DETROIT PRINCESS EXITS TOLEDO STAGE LEFT

Imagine my surprise upon waking one morning and seeing this news story:

http://www.13abc.com/story/15971960/princess-cruise-cancelled-after-fight-breaks-out

In Toledo Friday night, 600 people were on the Detroit Princess Boat in two ballrooms when a half dozen people started to fight on the lower level ballroom floor. Witnesses said, at one point, up 100 people were participating in the fight.

Friday was the hip-hop crowd and Saturday was supposed to be the R&B crowd. The boat is equipped with half a dozen on-board security officers during a cruise and other staff trained to move passengers out of trouble.
All passengers are patted down when they board, whether in Toledo or Detroit. Toledo police were called and sent two dozen officers to the boat. One arrest was made, but more are possible.

Did you imagine my surprise? Did you? No? PROBABLY BECAUSE I WAS NOT SURPRISED.
Only Toledo can force a Detroit Princess cruise line to literally haul up anchor and LEAVE.

NOT OCCUPYING TOLEDO

MEANWHILE, BACK AT THE RANCH...

RIBBONS!

I am still waiting for the T Shirt sample of that nightmare job I blogged about. Still. The shirts have been long printed and sold. My portfolio grows dust waiting for this sample. *sigh* So instead of sharing my non existant sample with you, I would like to announce my latest accomplishments:

    Three entered pieces won three ribbons!

  

OMG! OMG! RIBBONS!!

LOOK AT THEM

The 2nd place ribbon for POP CULTURE (A Coca-Cola© bottle) is a special honor as it is my first award for a painting as a medium. I am also awaiting the day when I can afford to frame some of my NEW pieces in order to show them...

MY FANTASY VS MY REALITY FRAMING

Because everything looks better in giant golden garish filigree --You know it does.

SEE!??

Exceptionally bad art brought to you by: http://museumofbadart.org

IT'S PHALLIC

NOTHIN’ BUT CLASS
A new quarter and class has begun and I am currently working on an illustration for one of the Seven Deadly Sins. The sin? LUST. I gathered the messege that I wished to communicate as well as a kicking quote from the Marquis de Sade. I am, however, struggling with this project. So far, I have narrowed down 20 thumbnails looking for a representational symbol. My abstract symbol (inspired by a live model) was wildly successful!

I am hoping for a FREUDIAN RIBBON next!

The above are my thumbnails. I went for Giger and got... I have no idea. Maybe I should have simply gone for Collins. My concept is to convey extreme sexual want/hunger with the pitfall of careless sex. I wanted to capture, not so much prudishness, but where an addiction to it all can lead. I want to create a piece that if faced with what is presented, one would actually be willing to toss over their own safety for that immediate gratification.

Although the nun works for the piece. As does the serpentine tongue. The last thumbnail is one of my rabbits staring at me while I sketched the thumbnails. I felt mocked.

I MOCK YOU! ALWAYS!

I MADE SALES!



I never thought I would ever live to see the day that I would thank listeners of talk radio...

BUY THIS MUG HERE:

http://www.zazzle.com/wspd_radio_waves_mug-168262102143066726

I love SPACE BUN. It is one of my favorite designs.

BUY THIS HOODIE HERE:

http://www.zazzle.com/space_bun_tshirt-235574715736751043

It’s official: I CAN pay the cable bill this month! Which, come to think of it, I better pay...









I AM BETTER THAN YOUR KIDS

http://www.iambetterthanyourkids.com/

Here is a sample of this exquisite website:

I am Maddox, a 32-year-old computer programmer and writer. I can spell, draw, and do math better than your kids, so I've taken the liberty to judge work done by children. I'll be assigning a grade of A through F for each piece:

"Guy Fawkes, one of five conspirators in the "gunpowder" plot to blow up parliament, depicted here as a haughty queen, standing near a gray flower."

OCCUPY ANONYMOUS

Speaking of which--South Park is even getting in on the act:

One reason that I love South Park is that they attack us all. Occupy Red Robin looked a lot like Occupy Toledo. View for yourself:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f8iJLa0UxTU
(No preview image available)



OCCUPYING

HE GOES BY "ACHILLES"

SEE!??

To update one and all: Occupy Toledo are still occupying. Now, various Occupiers all over this nation are starting to shoot and kill each other, rape each other, spread TB (blamed on the homeless), commit suicide and endanger the children they drag out there with them. One group elected a dog as their leader. Good choice. Woof!

BOW TO THE WOW

Nothing so dramatic HERE... but they ARE trying. Two members
(count them, 2) were arrested because they took a hand drawn sign into a city council meeting. Do not underestimate the ability to incur paper cuts on city council members with poster board. I feel the TRUE issue is about NOT hiring a professional graphic designer for the sign and NOT getting it professionally printed. I'M TIRED OF THE 99% MAN!

The two people are being charged with resisting arrest. They said they never TOUCHED any of the officers. Should I send an anonymous letter explaining the difference between assault and resisting? The ACLU has since been called in. The Occupiers here (Achilles included) were granted 2 weeks worth of tents. Oh boy.

JOKE
Q: Why is Occupy Toledo like the circus?
A: IT'S IN TENTS!!!!

(intense - in tents - circus?) - well it isn't funny if I have to explain it.

STUDIO 566

DRAMATIC

HONORABLE DAUGHTER #1 IS EXPECTING

SIMS UPDATE

 

Uncanny, isn't it?




THE END

MURDER AND MAYHEM or IT’S 4 AM AND MY KITCHEN IS CLEAN – WELCOME TO THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF THE DESIGNER ILLUSTRATOR

Therapy - I Need It

I have been hard at work on a TOP SECRET MAJOR PROJECT REQUIRING SECURITY CLEARANCE. I would tell you what it is, but then I would have to kill you. Not that I have anything against killing you, but I am extraordinarily tired.  I mean, I’d have to figure out methodology, going to the store, body disposal… and all that would require me to get off the couch and stop watching THE SQUIDBILLIES. *Of course, you could always kill yourself…

She is very popular at West Park Place Home for the Aging

So far, I have only gotten 5 emails for 5 corrections/missing files/miscalculated numbers/general malaise, etc. You know, just enough glitches to make me wonder what the hell I have been doing with my career for the last 10+ years. 

There were a few (read: a few too many) folks who had a say (read: too many says) in said illustrations/designs/copy writing/general malaise, and we all know what happens when everyone wants to be in charge.  My job description was being responsible for layout and illustration. I also ended up re-drawing a jabillion logos, designing/drawing/doing copy for almost 28 cards as well as keeping up the atmosphere of general malaise.  

IN KEEPING UP THE GENERAL MALAISE or 

A MUST-SEE FOR EVERY GRAPHIC DESIGNER:

I thank all Creative Directors who appreciate their artists. You know, the ones who put up with the F WORD used as EVERY FIGURE of speech as EVERY OTHER WORD IN A SENTENCE and still defend and pay their artists decent wages.

I have been working around the clock on this thing, which has made me *homicidal (See paragraph 1).  You have NO IDEA how many games of BEJEWELED BLITZ that have gone unplayed. You have no idea what that does to me. I gain solace only from “ESCAPE FROM ILLUSTRATOR ISLAND.”

As seen on: http://escapefromillustrationisland.com

O - How I have missed you!

NOTHING NEW
Due to the above mentioned project and school, I have created absolutely NOTHING new. That is all.

SOMETHING OLD
I present, therefore, a few old things I have created:

Graphite

This is one of my favorite pieces. I regret having let it go. I just... wasn't ready, I guess. No wonder I am poor.

Who knows what was going on when I illustrated this one. Although, you have to admit that the hat actually looks like part of the male anatomy. Freud is pleased.

I AM COMFORTABLY PLEASED

HOT PLATE + MATTRESS = MAYHEM

http://abclocal.go.com/wtvg/story?section=news/local&id=8163033

Officials say a man was cooking on a hot plate and somehow caught a mattress on fire. He and his son escaped without any injuries.

Somehow caught a mattress on fire? Really?

The word that makes me laugh is “somehow.” The only logical explanation is that he must have torn the tag off of the mattress. Let that be a hard-learned lesson to us all. 

Where's the 40?

THIS WEEK’S “I WANT THIS”

http://www.etailgifts.com/ghettopoly.htm

Enlarge and Read - DO IT - You know you want to...

GARY
An utterly fantastic artist. I had the honor of working with him in the Pit of Hell. I also have an abstract portrait he did of Yours Truly, framed and in STUDIO 566. He made me laugh… a LOT. He also greatly appreciated my rendition of RUBBER BAND MAN which played on the radio every night on Hell’s Pop Rock Station: FM 666.

Take a look at his art - it is WELL WORTH YOUR TIME:

http://www.coroflot.com/gwitten

ODD FACTS ABOUT GARY: Whenever we would talk about a well-known celebrity, they would die within 2 weeks time. It only worked with well-known celebrities as we tried this black magic with conversations about our supervisor.We considered it the "control" of an "experiment."

MINION’S QUOTES ABOUT MY BLOG
“What a great site! It was hilarious, just as good or better than working with you on Fred Xxxxx's 3rd shift in Hell.”

NOTE: Fred Xxxxx (AKA: THE CONTOL) did not die.

PORTFOLIO SITE
Not only did I get a good schmooze quote, I also have a site to look at for an online portfolio. It is FREE and uploads are UNLIMITED.

http://www.coroflot.com

THINGS THAT GO BUMP IN THE NIGHT
I am now convinced that the neighbors are aliens:

A raccoon visits on a regular basis. I heart him.

Rocky's mask peering in at me

I told you I hearted him

There is a hornet’s nest on the light above the patio. We do not bother each other. In fact, I have grown accustomed to hearing their deafening BUZZ around the bush where the bunnies hide.

Not ONE OF THEM is green...

Chip the Monk has also returned on a daily basis. I have not been able to snap a picture of him – he is WAY too quick. So instead, I GOOGLED this image:

Vroom!

I must confess, I feed the raccoon, ducks, chipmunk, stray cat and these feral human animals that claim to be related and live in my house (would it kill you to clean up once in a while??).  I also take good care of the bunnies.  

Chillaxin' in the litter box

I AM LADY OF THE WILD THINGS!  

(image not mine - but I wish it were)

I really look like this.

 THE SWISS ARE DEMENTED

BUT NOT AS DEMENTED AS THE JAPANESE

In conclusion, I present to you the silhouetted sentinels of STUDIO 566 - The lions that protect my Creative Spirit:

ANOTHER WEEK, ANOTHER.... UH.... WEEK

::PATPAT::
I won another Zazzle recognition on Squidoo! Another featured product for BEST OF ZAZZLE WEEKLY WEEK 9 2011! I present the poster of CHIP THE MONK:

Read about it here: http://www.squidoo.com/the_best_of_zazzle_weekly
archive: http://bestofzazzleweekly.posterous.com

There are so many wonderful things featured in the BEST OF ZAZZLE WEEKLY that this is truly an honor!
 

 

LICK THIS
I was approached by Zazzle this week, because they wanted verification that a piece of work was actually mine! I was school girl giddy thinking someone was mistaking my illustration work for... well... someone else's! There is heavy Beatrix Potter behind this one, but that is it. The work was for a US postage stamp. I received a follow up letter (after I inadvertently sent about 15 emails to differing addresses inquiring, WTF? But in a nice business way). The letter was very sweet from a woman named, Amanda and she encouraged me to resubmit the stamp and reassured me the they were simply trying to protect my intellectual property. I know THAT is a lie because I have no intellect. <rimshot>.

 HOW IN THE...
... name of all things good is ANYONE supposed to type the metaphysical symbol for planet Earth in their CAPTCHA? It says to "Enter the following two words." I am pretty sure that THAT is not a word. I'm going to start collecting some of the more creative ones. I must have stared at this for a good five minutes, debating whether or not I was up for the challenge.

▲
▲ ▲

Momchan

OH, AND ONE MORE THING
I sold an inordinate amount of these in the past week: 

 

MY MINIONS

A minion is featured in one of my shirts! She sent this picture for us to admire! THANK-YOU, MINION!!

LOVE LOVE LOVE

Here are the two troubled boys in a moment of peace. I have been working on bonding them. It has been a long haul. I have been able to bath them together without incident. Lance does well in Sammy's cage as he gets groomed. (Although we had to cool off the other day because Lance became snarky). When Sammy is on the outside though (He is incarcerated due to chewing issues), Lance gets feisty.

Bunnies are incredibly territorial. They look cute and fluffy but cross their boundary and you could end up bloody and full of shame. You, as a human, may THINK you can teach a rabbit that it's YOUR house, but you are sadly mistaken. Everything is theirs. Including your soul.

Sammy and Lancelot

I also ran across a picture of Dutch bunnies at 3 days old. Lance (Bunny on the reader's right) is a Dutch.

Sometimes I debate myself about being absolutely obsessed with these guys. Then, one day, myself showed me something rather interesting; a portrait painted by Milton Glaser. Who knew? Of course, when Mr. Glaser speaks of Mookie, it isn't with much love. 

My goodness. Isn't Mookie handsome? Milton Glaser once said that “art should keep us from killing each other by showing us what we have in common."


James Victore believes design should be a “big fucking stick with spikes that hits us over the head."

Check out James Victore's work. It is exceptional.
http://www.jamesvictore.com

DAD OF THE YEAR

Truly, I have had so many times like this with my kids. I still do, although we don't dance or sing together much. If I play BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY, AMERICAN PIE or BLUE ON BLACK, then we sing. In fact, we will all drop everything to sing BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY. I pray that never ends. At 1:04 notice the pet white rat crawling on the chair. Willard appears a bit earlier but you can really see him at 1:04. He crawls around a bit, goes off somewhere, comes back and crawls back in the chair. Anyway, here is to Daddy's dancing with their daughters. When I danced with mine, I stood on his feet. Good lord that man could Jitter Bug.

In closing this week, I present to you TRACY NELSON. Her band was Mother Earth. This song is one of her originals, Down So Low. Her voice is POWERFUL. There is no other word for it. She was a contemporary of Janice Joplin who never managed the commercial success. I have this song in my song list.

 

If you ever find a marvelous music video but cannot find a free MP3, I suggest visiting the web page:

http://www.youtubetomp3.com

With a free account (I signed in with Facebook), you can put the address of the youtube video where directed. They (whomever they are) convert the video to an MP3. They then give you a link where you can download the MP3. It is marvelous.Thank-you, They.