Friday, March 23, 2012

STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS

We are careening into the end of March. I have nothing new to share in the terms of tips, new supplies, hide outs, big news, little news or anything. The end of March means that since I have not been contacted, I have been rejected by innumerable magazines and contests. I have been rejected by the best. I am not particularly fond of March. One class has finished, however. Another class has begun as I blaze my trail into a debt I will never, in one lifetime, be able to pay. I am required to take biology ::shudder:: and have landed in a nutrition class. The adviser said the class is what is best for "people like me." What is a "people like me"?

"PEOPLE LIKE YOU"


It turns out the other choice was BIOLOGY. As in REAL BIOLOGY. Then... I understood...


WHY ARE TERTIARY STRUCTURES SELFISH?
BECAUSE THE AMINO ACIDS ARE ALL WRAPPED UP IN THEMSELVES.




NUTRITION IT IS.

In nutrition, I have learned many things -- mostly that my rabbits eat better than I do.

I ACTUALLY TURNED THIS IN AND RECEIVED AN "A".



THESE HERE TOLEDO

It has been pretty quiet in these here Toledo, Ohio. I did see a mattress with box springs neatly lain on the sidewalk, but alas -- I could not snap a picture for posterity. Instead, I created a collage of South St. Clair Street to showcase our beautiful Parking Meter Cozies.





It looks as though someone slacked on a few of them. They are more like the pot holders we all made in 3rd grade all sewn together. Only in Toledo would someone slack on parking meter cozies.

TOLEDO POT HOLDERS



YOU ARE WELL ON YOUR WAY TO MAKING
YOUR OWN PARKING METER COZY!


THE PROJECT
The "BIG" March project became even bigger, to my surprise. I had so much fun working on it and really actually loved the individual that commissioned the piece. I can't tell you what it is yet... but stay tuned because I will be shoving it in all of your faces for the next year. I can't wait!! Is the anticipation growing? You know it is...

A SYMBOLIC REPRESENTATION OF ME
MAKING YOU LOOK AT MY WORK.



THE OTHER PROJECT

The other project (365) is humming right along. Again, one illustrator among some wildly talented photographers. I am finding that my image-a-day sometimes takes more than a-day. I have been trying carefully to push myself for at least one sketchbook doodle. Wouldn't you know it, some of the doodles turn out better than any pieces I've spent weeks toiling over. Perhaps more evidence that I think too much.

Anyhoo --





This image popped up when I Googled "Anyhoo."















Again, I am drawing a plethora of bunnies. This helps with the original 365 Bunnies project that I keep getting pulled from. Now, I have two 365 projects to get pulled from. Everything is pulling.




MY PURPOSE
The purpose under this purpose is to share the bunnies. These were born out of the 2nd 365 project but I add them to the 1st 365 Bunny project.

IT WAS A SLOW DAY



SAMMY DOING LIFE FOR CHEWING WIRES



I AM THE RABBIT



SITTING IN NEGATIVE SPACE








007





INTO OZ





DEATH WITH BUNNY




LANCE'S FAN




OVER THE MOON



OUT OF THE SHADOW


I AM NOT RIGHT
I don't know why, but I thought this was the funniest thing I have seen in a long time:


BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!









THE GREAT OUTDOORS

I went outside this week. After the initial shock to my system and exposure to the sun, I relaxed.

Sammy joined me while Russette glared at both of us from within the confines of the house.









MY NEIGHBOR





I AM NEIGHBORLY










END OF DAY
For the record, rabbits dream. They also snore.

HE CHASES CARS WHEN HE SLEEPS




THE END

NOT THAT I EVER DID













Saturday, March 3, 2012

MAD AS A MARCH HARE


DUN DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNN


It has been an interesting month, to say the least. I landed a genuine bona fide real world illustration job that took every extra moment of my life for the past 4 weeks. I am happy with the product – which will NOT be revealed until published at the end of the month. I also totally flaked on a job. This, I shall not discuss. Alas, the balance of life.


"BONA FIDE"
Why did this come up when I Googled "bona fide"? Your guess is as good as mine.

I must catch you up with all you have missed. I have visual aids. I mean, things to show you, not an optical acquired immune deficiency syndrome. And I know you missed it, didn’t you? Yes, I know... 

DAMN IT BEAVIS STOP CHANGING THE SUBJECT, YOU WERE CRYING...
IT'S OK TO CRY, IT TAKES THE SAD OUT OF YOU.



THESE HERE TOLEDO, OHIO NEWS…



http://www.13abc.com/story/16996250/2012/02/22/police-toledo-man-exposed-himself-at-elementary

BOB
"According to police report, Bobby Rivers interrupted classes at Glenwood Elementary by tapping on the windows, licking the glass, exposing himself and urinating outside the classroom."
BOB IS THE RESULT OF 4 BILLION YEARS OF
EVOLUTIONARY SUCCESS


WHOSE HOME?

HOME
Toledo cares deeply about its squirrels…

GEORGE DROWNS HIS SORROWS
AS A RESULT OF THIS TRAGIC EVENT


THE CITY BEGINS CRACKING DOWN ON TRAFFIC VIOLATIONS
Outside of the studio, we see a Toledo City Vehicle:

NO PARKING ANY TIME
(IS READING NOT A REQUIREMENT FOR CITY WORKERS?)



STUDIO 566
Two publications that include my work have hit the cyber viewing shelves! And I am NOT naked in either! Both pieces are for The Bunny Stop. Which leads me to say that I won a certain gold statuette for The Bunny Stop work:

I DID NOT WIN ONE OF THESE

I would like to thank all of the little people, my God, Jesus, my twisted family because without them I never would have pursued art as therapy… and finally, thank-you to the makers of Zoloft.

THE DOCTOR UPPED MY DOSE



365 PROJECT
I have committed myself to an artistic endeavor of producing an illustration a day for a year. As you may recall – or you may not recall – it matters not what is or is not recalled—but I digress… The 365 Raging Bunnehs started like this. So now, I am killing a few birds with one pencil. The first three illustrations are a bit complicated: computer illustrations. Complicated only in that they were a little time consuming. These weren’t quick sketches. They are of each of my rabbits (see what I am doing there?).  The other participants in the 365 Project are all photographers. (365 Day Project as long as December 31, 2012 doesn't make it the 355 Day Project). It is interesting, to say the least, to be the 5th wheel. Or 3rd wheel. Hell, I feel like a unicycle.
EKAHAU WANTS YOU TO DRAW HIM
LIKE ONE OF YOUR FRENCH GIRLS


Find the 365 Day Project here:  http://www.flickr.com/photos/58764020@N03/


1

2

3




PROOF THAT ONE CAN FIND ANYTHING ON THE INTERNETS
Found at: http://www.quickmemes.com





FACEBOOK FRIENDS WHO ARE FAMILY
The next piece was inspired by a familial public fight witnessed on Facebook. There are no words in the English language to describe the barrage of insults and aired dirty laundry from the relations. I don’t think there are even any words in the French language to describe it. It was a virtual obligatory Thanksgiving Dinner at Mom's. The main event was a "You-Are-Trampier-Than-Me-Because-____Fill in the Blank___" Pageant. The swimsuit competition saw many impressive tattoos and piercings. The talent contest consisted of not only entire monologues of swearing in iambic pentameter, but also a dazzling tap dance of ignorance that would make Sammy Davis Junior cry out of his one good eye provided he were still alive. The Grand Prize, apparently, was an eternity of being Facebook blocked from someone's FRIENDS list. Runners up received an assortment of unfriendings and a life time supply of Rice-A-Roni; the San Francisco treat.

But seriously, Folks - you know I kid cuz I love: No one actually received Rice-A-Roni.

Transcripts of this conversation are available for one easy payment of $10.99. Cash or Checks accepted. Make checks payable to Yours Truly, Me. OF COURSE I SAVED IT! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
THE LATIN TRANSLATES INTO ENGLISH:
WHERE THE HOMES ARE MOBILE
BUT THE CARS ARE NOT



AND PEOPLE WONDER WHY I PLAY THE SIMS SOCIAL
My Sims has a Prius now. She is a bleeding heart liberal who, due to her environmental consciousness and passion for going green, is test driving a hybrid for two weeks. My Sims cannot DRIVE the Prius, mind you. The car just sits there. Looking like a Prius. My Sims will go over to it, shine it up and get one point of energy for her efforts.

I had to build an extra room because My Sims is a hoarder. I needed to make a special room for the Easter Island statue, safe, orange traffic cone and Prius that she can’t drive for two weeks. It is parked in the room in front of the black throne (toilet) surrounded by rose petals. It was the only logical thing to do.

ON THE NEXT HOARDERS...



LAZY DAZE
Many people do not understand the blessing of having a rabbit. Many people do not know, want to know or even care to know. This is why I do not have people as pets. Also, a lot of people think rabbits are boring. Sometimes, they are. But even in their boring states, they crack me up. In their not so boring states, they crack me up. Most of the pics below were taken on weekends when they and I expend maximum amounts of energy to lay around.

LOLWUT?

Russette horks "my spot." I suspect she posts joke statuses and single-handedly started that family Facebook fight.  Noticed the wire recharging my cell phone? It now lays in 6 different strategically chewed pieces. She's such a kidder.



YES, RABBITS SNORE
She is terribly exhausted after a morning of tossing a dirty sock in the air, chewing a paper plate (stolen off of the table) and chasing a roll of paper towels (also lifted from the same table).



LANCE: DO NOT DISTURB

DID I NOT JUST SAY NOT 5 MINUTES AGO,
"DO NOT DISTURB"?




Upon arriving home from my studio one afternoon, this is how I found Lance. One roll of paper towels (a different roll, mind you), a used paper plate drug out from God only knows where and a lot of attitude. His redecorating did not go over well with other members of the household.


Last Saturday I fell asleep on the couch and took a lovely nap. I woke up -- groggily turned my head and saw this:
GET OUT OF MY SPOT



FACE PLANTED RIGHT INTO THE FLOOR



I WATCH YOU WHEN YOU SLEEP



THE END
OPEN THE DOOR, GET ON THE FLOOR