MAD AS A MARCH HARE

DUN DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNN

It has been an interesting month, to say the least. I landed a genuine bona fide real world illustration job that took every extra moment of my life for the past 4 weeks. I am happy with the product – which will NOT be revealed until published at the end of the month. I also totally flaked on a job. This, I shall not discuss. Alas, the balance of life.

"BONA FIDE"

Why did this come up when I Googled "bona fide"? Your guess is as good as mine.

I must catch you up with all you have missed. I have visual aids. I mean, things to show you, not an optical acquired immune deficiency syndrome. And I know you missed it, didn’t you? Yes, I know... 

DAMN IT BEAVIS STOP CHANGING THE SUBJECT, YOU WERE CRYING...
IT'S OK TO CRY, IT TAKES THE SAD OUT OF YOU.

THESE HERE TOLEDO, OHIO NEWS…



http://www.13abc.com/story/16996250/2012/02/22/police-toledo-man-exposed-himself-at-elementary

BOB
"According to police report, Bobby Rivers interrupted classes at Glenwood Elementary by tapping on the windows, licking the glass, exposing himself and urinating outside the classroom."

BOB IS THE RESULT OF 4 BILLION YEARS OF
EVOLUTIONARY SUCCESS

WHOSE HOME?

HOME

Toledo cares deeply about its squirrels…

GEORGE DROWNS HIS SORROWS
AS A RESULT OF THIS TRAGIC EVENT

THE CITY BEGINS CRACKING DOWN ON TRAFFIC VIOLATIONS

Outside of the studio, we see a Toledo City Vehicle:

NO PARKING ANY TIME
(IS READING NOT A REQUIREMENT FOR CITY WORKERS?)

STUDIO 566
Two publications that include my work have hit the cyber viewing shelves! And I am NOT naked in either! Both pieces are for The Bunny Stop. Which leads me to say that I won a certain gold statuette for The Bunny Stop work:

I DID NOT WIN ONE OF THESE

I would like to thank all of the little people, my God, Jesus, my twisted family because without them I never would have pursued art as therapy… and finally, thank-you to the makers of Zoloft.

THE DOCTOR UPPED MY DOSE

365 PROJECT
I have committed myself to an artistic endeavor of producing an illustration a day for a year. As you may recall – or you may not recall – it matters not what is or is not recalled—but I digress… The 365 Raging Bunnehs started like this. So now, I am killing a few birds with one pencil. The first three illustrations are a bit complicated: computer illustrations. Complicated only in that they were a little time consuming. These weren’t quick sketches. They are of each of my rabbits (see what I am doing there?).  The other participants in the 365 Project are all photographers. (365 Day Project as long as December 31, 2012 doesn't make it the 355 Day Project). It is interesting, to say the least, to be the 5^th wheel. Or 3^rd wheel. Hell, I feel like a unicycle.

EKAHAU WANTS YOU TO DRAW HIM
LIKE ONE OF YOUR FRENCH GIRLS

Find the 365 Day Project here:  http://www.flickr.com/photos/58764020@N03/

1

2

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PROOF THAT ONE CAN FIND ANYTHING ON THE INTERNETS
Found at: http://www.quickmemes.com

FACEBOOK FRIENDS WHO ARE FAMILY
The next piece was inspired by a familial public fight witnessed on Facebook. There are no words in the English language to describe the barrage of insults and aired dirty laundry from the relations. I don’t think there are even any words in the French language to describe it. It was a virtual obligatory Thanksgiving Dinner at Mom's. The main event was a "You-Are-Trampier-Than-Me-Because-____Fill in the Blank___" Pageant. The swimsuit competition saw many impressive tattoos and piercings. The talent contest consisted of not only entire monologues of swearing in iambic pentameter, but also a dazzling tap dance of ignorance that would make Sammy Davis Junior cry out of his one good eye provided he were still alive. The Grand Prize, apparently, was an eternity of being Facebook blocked from someone's FRIENDS list. Runners up received an assortment of unfriendings and a life time supply of Rice-A-Roni; the San Francisco treat.

But seriously, Folks - you know I kid cuz I love: No one actually received Rice-A-Roni.

Transcripts of this conversation are available for one easy payment of $10.99. Cash or Checks accepted. Make checks payable to Yours Truly, Me. OF COURSE I SAVED IT! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

THE LATIN TRANSLATES INTO ENGLISH:
WHERE THE HOMES ARE MOBILE
BUT THE CARS ARE NOT

AND PEOPLE WONDER WHY I PLAY THE SIMS SOCIAL
My Sims has a Prius now. She is a bleeding heart liberal who, due to her environmental consciousness and passion for going green, is test driving a hybrid for two weeks. My Sims cannot DRIVE the Prius, mind you. The car just sits there. Looking like a Prius. My Sims will go over to it, shine it up and get one point of energy for her efforts.

I had to build an extra room because My Sims is a hoarder. I needed to make a special room for the Easter Island statue, safe, orange traffic cone and Prius that she can’t drive for two weeks. It is parked in the room in front of the black throne (toilet) surrounded by rose petals. It was the only logical thing to do.

ON THE NEXT HOARDERS...

LAZY DAZE
Many people do not understand the blessing of having a rabbit. Many people do not know, want to know or even care to know. This is why I do not have people as pets. Also, a lot of people think rabbits are boring. Sometimes, they are. But even in their boring states, they crack me up. In their not so boring states, they crack me up. Most of the pics below were taken on weekends when they and I expend maximum amounts of energy to lay around.

LOLWUT?

Russette horks "my spot." I suspect she posts joke statuses and single-handedly started that family Facebook fight.  Noticed the wire recharging my cell phone? It now lays in 6 different strategically chewed pieces. She's such a kidder.

YES, RABBITS SNORE

She is terribly exhausted after a morning of tossing a dirty sock in the air, chewing a paper plate (stolen off of the table) and chasing a roll of paper towels (also lifted from the same table).

LANCE: DO NOT DISTURB

DID I NOT JUST SAY NOT 5 MINUTES AGO,
"DO NOT DISTURB"?

Upon arriving home from my studio one afternoon, this is how I found Lance. One roll of paper towels (a different roll, mind you), a used paper plate drug out from God only knows where and a lot of attitude. His redecorating did not go over well with other members of the household.


Last Saturday I fell asleep on the couch and took a lovely nap. I woke up -- groggily turned my head and saw this:

GET OUT OF MY SPOT

FACE PLANTED RIGHT INTO THE FLOOR

I WATCH YOU WHEN YOU SLEEP

THE END

OPEN THE DOOR, GET ON THE FLOOR

PROCESS THIS

FACEBOOK WARRIOR - PENCILS OF MASS DESTRUCTION

Welcome to my FBook status!  One of my beloved minions suggested  the HIGHLANDER WARRIOR with henchman rabbit … and that was that. God knows how many things have come to fruition from the drama on FaceBook. Come on, you can’t tell me you haven’t unfriended someone (or been unfriended) and fight the unbearable urge to re friend  – JUST TO UNFRIEND THEM AGAIN.  That’ll learn ‘em.

GET A LIFE
I had a very wise mentor  once instruct me to “LIVE YOUR LIFE” in order to be a “good” artist. He added that details make the art “great.” The man exhausted me. His critiques seemed excruciating.

I think I would advise young artists the same thing: live your life. It is always too short, so important and it contains the secret of inspiration, experience and subjects. This mean s to NOT spend all of your time studying art/design, looking at art/design, talking art/design, etc art/design.  Those things are VITAL, but so is the art of living. 

 “The well-formed life, like a work of art, communicates and worships through its way of being, a self-proclaimed morality. Just as a work of art has wholeness, a well-designed life has a wholeness that is called holiness. The characteristics of a well-designed life are those found in creation and in art: unity, variety, balance, harmony. “ –Edward Fisher

DENNIS ANDERSON
I miss “talking shop” as you called it – as I call it now. I also actually miss you swearing at me. I miss you putting me in my place. I miss hearing those three magic words so groughly coughed out in my general direction.  And I promise you, I never apologize for my work. (I will never forget that day).

1940 - 2005

EVERYBODY STEALS FROM GOD
My X Mother-in-Law (whom, during the duration of her life, I affectionately called Satan), was an artist.

Mom?

She was an amazing astounding awesome (and all other “a” adjectives) stained glass artist.

St. Hugo of the Hills Catholic Church
Margaret Bouchez Cavanaugh
Bloomfield Hills

She gifted me a book (Catholic in nature, mind you) called EVERYBODY STEALS FROM GOD : COMMUNICATION AS WORSHIP  written by Edward Fischer.

I can read!

He (Fischer – not God) points out that design is the most usual thing in creation and is the bases of all communication.  Communication is the most important aspect of daily life.  As we grow older, experience serves as a magnet to draw meaning from words and events, meaning that was there all along but we were not ready for. Who knew it was all so aesthetic?

“Design is the template I hold up to experience. We look at the world through templates of our own making and try to fit them over the realities of life. No fit is perfect, but even a sorry fit is better than none.” –Same Guy

There IS a God!

“Charactersitics of good design imbue nature.” –Ditto

MEANWHILE, BACK AT THE RANCH
I am survivng my Interactive Design Class. Be it known that there is a reason there is “SS” in “CSS.” (A little web design humor there). CLICK THE LINK. DO IT. DAMMIT.

http://ohioart2.aisites.com/pc

27b/6 – DAVID THORNE
I am extremely emotional over this…
David Thorne is my favorite troll:
http://www.27bslash6.com/missy.html

PROCESS PROCESS PROCESS
This posted link is to a blog post covering one designer’s process. It also saves me from digging through all of my notebooks to post one of mine. Just remember : BRIEFS-THUMBNAILS-TWEAKS.

It is important to know as much as possible about your client. It is important to brainstorm and thumbnail without censoring yourself. And it is important to research (your market, your art, your industry, the clients industry) – what? You thought making a living drawing pictures is easy? HAH! I LAFF AT YOU!

http://blakemccreary.com/2011/06/logo-design-process-for-host-party-com/

BAMBI vs. GODZILLA
This is the very FIRST animation I saw from an AniFest. I fell in love with the world of illustration due to this very piece:

THE PRAGMATIC SIDE
35 Beautiful Vintage and Retro Photoshop Tutorials
I was perusing the net looking for an effect and found this fantastic page of tuts!

http://www.smashingmagazine.com/2008/10/14/30-beautiful-vintageretro-photoshop-tutorials/

COMIC SANS
I hate it. Stop using it.
http://www.comicsanscriminal.com

WHAT THE COOL!

Child art will never be the same.

http://whatthecool.com/post/1089824121/1089824121

STUDIO 566 FARE
Or is it “fair.” Hellif I know.

THE END

MURDER AND MAYHEM or IT’S 4 AM AND MY KITCHEN IS CLEAN – WELCOME TO THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF THE DESIGNER ILLUSTRATOR

Therapy - I Need It

I have been hard at work on a TOP SECRET MAJOR PROJECT REQUIRING SECURITY CLEARANCE. I would tell you what it is, but then I would have to kill you. Not that I have anything against killing you, but I am extraordinarily tired.  I mean, I’d have to figure out methodology, going to the store, body disposal… and all that would require me to get off the couch and stop watching THE SQUIDBILLIES. *Of course, you could always kill yourself…

She is very popular at West Park Place Home for the Aging

So far, I have only gotten 5 emails for 5 corrections/missing files/miscalculated numbers/general malaise, etc. You know, just enough glitches to make me wonder what the hell I have been doing with my career for the last 10+ years. 

There were a few (read: a few too many) folks who had a say (read: too many says) in said illustrations/designs/copy writing/general malaise, and we all know what happens when everyone wants to be in charge.  My job description was being responsible for layout and illustration. I also ended up re-drawing a jabillion logos, designing/drawing/doing copy for almost 28 cards as well as keeping up the atmosphere of general malaise.  

IN KEEPING UP THE GENERAL MALAISE or 

A MUST-SEE FOR EVERY GRAPHIC DESIGNER:

I thank all Creative Directors who appreciate their artists. You know, the ones who put up with the F WORD used as EVERY FIGURE of speech as EVERY OTHER WORD IN A SENTENCE and still defend and pay their artists decent wages.

I have been working around the clock on this thing, which has made me *homicidal (See paragraph 1).  You have NO IDEA how many games of BEJEWELED BLITZ that have gone unplayed. You have no idea what that does to me. I gain solace only from “ESCAPE FROM ILLUSTRATOR ISLAND.”

As seen on: http://escapefromillustrationisland.com

O - How I have missed you!

NOTHING NEW
Due to the above mentioned project and school, I have created absolutely NOTHING new. That is all.

SOMETHING OLD
I present, therefore, a few old things I have created:

Graphite

This is one of my favorite pieces. I regret having let it go. I just... wasn't ready, I guess. No wonder I am poor.

Who knows what was going on when I illustrated this one. Although, you have to admit that the hat actually looks like part of the male anatomy. Freud is pleased.

I AM COMFORTABLY PLEASED

HOT PLATE + MATTRESS = MAYHEM

http://abclocal.go.com/wtvg/story?section=news/local&id=8163033

Officials say a man was cooking on a hot plate and somehow caught a mattress on fire. He and his son escaped without any injuries.

Somehow caught a mattress on fire? Really?

The word that makes me laugh is “somehow.” The only logical explanation is that he must have torn the tag off of the mattress. Let that be a hard-learned lesson to us all. 

Where's the 40?

THIS WEEK’S “I WANT THIS”

http://www.etailgifts.com/ghettopoly.htm

Enlarge and Read - DO IT - You know you want to...

GARY
An utterly fantastic artist. I had the honor of working with him in the Pit of Hell. I also have an abstract portrait he did of Yours Truly, framed and in STUDIO 566. He made me laugh… a LOT. He also greatly appreciated my rendition of RUBBER BAND MAN which played on the radio every night on Hell’s Pop Rock Station: FM 666.

Take a look at his art - it is WELL WORTH YOUR TIME:

http://www.coroflot.com/gwitten

ODD FACTS ABOUT GARY: Whenever we would talk about a well-known celebrity, they would die within 2 weeks time. It only worked with well-known celebrities as we tried this black magic with conversations about our supervisor.We considered it the "control" of an "experiment."

MINION’S QUOTES ABOUT MY BLOG
“What a great site! It was hilarious, just as good or better than working with you on Fred Xxxxx's 3rd shift in Hell.”

NOTE: Fred Xxxxx (AKA: THE CONTOL) did not die.

PORTFOLIO SITE
Not only did I get a good schmooze quote, I also have a site to look at for an online portfolio. It is FREE and uploads are UNLIMITED.

http://www.coroflot.com

THINGS THAT GO BUMP IN THE NIGHT
I am now convinced that the neighbors are aliens:

A raccoon visits on a regular basis. I heart him.

Rocky's mask peering in at me

I told you I hearted him

There is a hornet’s nest on the light above the patio. We do not bother each other. In fact, I have grown accustomed to hearing their deafening BUZZ around the bush where the bunnies hide.

Not ONE OF THEM is green...

Chip the Monk has also returned on a daily basis. I have not been able to snap a picture of him – he is WAY too quick. So instead, I GOOGLED this image:

Vroom!

I must confess, I feed the raccoon, ducks, chipmunk, stray cat and these feral human animals that claim to be related and live in my house (would it kill you to clean up once in a while??).  I also take good care of the bunnies.  

Chillaxin' in the litter box

I AM LADY OF THE WILD THINGS!  

(image not mine - but I wish it were)

I really look like this.

 THE SWISS ARE DEMENTED

BUT NOT AS DEMENTED AS THE JAPANESE

In conclusion, I present to you the silhouetted sentinels of STUDIO 566 - The lions that protect my Creative Spirit: