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| Therapy - I Need It |
I have been hard at work on a TOP SECRET MAJOR PROJECT REQUIRING SECURITY CLEARANCE. I would tell you what it is, but then I would have to kill you. Not that I have anything against killing you, but I am extraordinarily tired. I mean, I’d have to figure out methodology, going to the store, body disposal… and all that would require me to get off the couch and stop watching THE SQUIDBILLIES. *Of course, you could always kill yourself…
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| She is very popular at West Park Place Home for the Aging |
So far, I have only gotten 5 emails for 5 corrections/missing files/miscalculated numbers/general malaise, etc. You know, just enough glitches to make me wonder what the hell I have been doing with my career for the last 10+ years.
There were a few (read: a few too many) folks who had a say (read: too many says) in said illustrations/designs/copy writing/general malaise, and we all know what happens when everyone wants to be in charge. My job description was being responsible for layout and illustration. I also ended up re-drawing a jabillion logos, designing/drawing/doing copy for almost 28 cards as well as keeping up the atmosphere of general malaise.
IN KEEPING UP THE GENERAL MALAISE or
A MUST-SEE FOR EVERY GRAPHIC DESIGNER:
I thank all Creative Directors who appreciate their artists. You know, the ones who put up with the F WORD used as EVERY FIGURE of speech as EVERY OTHER WORD IN A SENTENCE and still defend and pay their artists decent wages.
I have been working around the clock on this thing, which has made me *homicidal (See paragraph 1). You have NO IDEA how many games of BEJEWELED BLITZ that have gone unplayed. You have no idea what that does to me. I gain solace only from “ESCAPE FROM ILLUSTRATOR ISLAND.”
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| As seen on: http://escapefromillustrationisland.com |
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| O - How I have missed you! |
NOTHING NEW
Due to the above mentioned project and school, I have created absolutely NOTHING new. That is all.
Due to the above mentioned project and school, I have created absolutely NOTHING new. That is all.
SOMETHING OLD
I present, therefore, a few old things I have created:
I present, therefore, a few old things I have created:
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| Graphite |
This is one of my favorite pieces. I regret having let it go. I just... wasn't ready, I guess. No wonder I am poor.
Who knows what was going on when I illustrated this one. Although, you have to admit that the hat actually looks like part of the male anatomy. Freud is pleased.
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| I AM COMFORTABLY PLEASED |
Officials say a man was cooking on a hot plate and somehow caught a mattress on fire. He and his son escaped without any injuries.
Somehow caught a mattress on fire? Really?
The word that makes me laugh is “somehow.” The only logical explanation is that he must have torn the tag off of the mattress. Let that be a hard-learned lesson to us all.
The word that makes me laugh is “somehow.” The only logical explanation is that he must have torn the tag off of the mattress. Let that be a hard-learned lesson to us all.
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| Where's the 40? |
THIS WEEK’S “I WANT THIS”
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| Enlarge and Read - DO IT - You know you want to... |
GARY
An utterly fantastic artist. I had the honor of working with him in the Pit of Hell. I also have an abstract portrait he did of Yours Truly, framed and in STUDIO 566. He made me laugh… a LOT. He also greatly appreciated my rendition of RUBBER BAND MAN which played on the radio every night on Hell’s Pop Rock Station: FM 666.
Take a look at his art - it is WELL WORTH YOUR TIME:
An utterly fantastic artist. I had the honor of working with him in the Pit of Hell. I also have an abstract portrait he did of Yours Truly, framed and in STUDIO 566. He made me laugh… a LOT. He also greatly appreciated my rendition of RUBBER BAND MAN which played on the radio every night on Hell’s Pop Rock Station: FM 666.
Take a look at his art - it is WELL WORTH YOUR TIME:
ODD FACTS ABOUT GARY: Whenever we would talk about a well-known celebrity, they would die within 2 weeks time. It only worked with well-known celebrities as we tried this black magic with conversations about our supervisor.We considered it the "control" of an "experiment."
MINION’S QUOTES ABOUT MY BLOG
“What a great site! It was hilarious, just as good or better than working with you on Fred Xxxxx's 3rd shift in Hell.”
NOTE: Fred Xxxxx (AKA: THE CONTOL) did not die.
PORTFOLIO SITE
Not only did I get a good schmooze quote, I also have a site to look at for an online portfolio. It is FREE and uploads are UNLIMITED.
http://www.coroflot.com
Not only did I get a good schmooze quote, I also have a site to look at for an online portfolio. It is FREE and uploads are UNLIMITED.
http://www.coroflot.com
THINGS THAT GO BUMP IN THE NIGHT
I am now convinced that the neighbors are aliens:
I am now convinced that the neighbors are aliens:
A raccoon visits on a regular basis. I heart him.
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| Rocky's mask peering in at me |
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| I told you I hearted him |
There is a hornet’s nest on the light above the patio. We do not bother each other. In fact, I have grown accustomed to hearing their deafening BUZZ around the bush where the bunnies hide.
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| Not ONE OF THEM is green... |
Chip the Monk has also returned on a daily basis. I have not been able to snap a picture of him – he is WAY too quick. So instead, I GOOGLED this image:
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| Vroom! |
I must confess, I feed the raccoon, ducks, chipmunk, stray cat and these feral human animals that claim to be related and live in my house (would it kill you to clean up once in a while??). I also take good care of the bunnies.
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| Chillaxin' in the litter box |
I AM LADY OF THE WILD THINGS!
(image not mine - but I wish it were)
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| I really look like this. |
THE SWISS ARE DEMENTED
BUT NOT AS DEMENTED AS THE JAPANESE
In conclusion, I present to you the silhouetted sentinels of STUDIO 566 - The lions that protect my Creative Spirit:
