Sunday, March 20, 2011


I ran out of governmental loan money to finish my degree (technically it is my 3rd degree). Have no fear, however, as I will finish. I am determined. Even after having 3 pieces rejected for publication. Ahhh~ the artist's life for me!

I have no intention of ever paying you and I want to use you and then abandon you and steal all your hard work ... and claim it as my own and then never ever ever pay you.  I am no better than a common street thug and will outsource anything that I want produced if I am not able to find an American to do the job. I will commonly ask you to steal art and you will get left holding the bag if anyone ever questions you about it etc. Please submit your art for my T-Shirts that I sell and profit from. I want ideas that you put your blood sweat and tears into that take you literally hours to complete. Please keep in mind I have NO intention of ever paying you and I will make the empty promise of “Sharing the profits”.

"Rabbit's clever," said Pooh thoughtfully.
"I suppose," said Pooh, "that that's why he never understands anything."

O’Rourke took a moment out of his busy day to pen this little sardonic ditty about Toledo, Ohio. A local talk radio host posted this on his social networking site and spoke of it on air. The responses made me chuckle a little.

People from this quaint little burgh, who still live here (and will undoubtedly die here) defend this charming little shithole to the death. One caller accused O’Rourke of biting the hand that fed him. If O'Rourke bit "the hand that fed him" I would be more worried about him contracting ptomaine poisoning. I can say that because according to the all-knowing Wikipedia, "the word ptomaine is no longer used scientifically." I, however, implement it sarcastically. But, I digress.
Another caller pointed out that there is unemployment in other places. There are closed factories in other places. Etc., Etc., Etc. Everybody's doing it. All the cool kids are doing it. You know you want to... Why, for the love of all things good--would P.J. O'Rourke pick on US! WHY???

Isn’t step one admitting that there is a problem? Collectively, we (Toledo, Ohio) are having difficulty mastering a decent crawl. It seems that people think that this fact is acceptable (As evidenced by electing like minded individuals for the past 30 years).  Perhaps people are wrapped up in sentimentality and can't see the forest through the trees--Although there are very few trees left in Toledo, Ohio. Don’t get me wrong, my studio sits right downtown on Jefferson Avenue. There is a charm in looking out over this city. The River sings like all other rivers. The homeless live under an overpass near my studio. There are days I really like it here. It feels REAL when nothing else does. Usually, those are the days I am not worried about eating. You know, in the day, Jefferson Avenue was known as the strip that the prostitutes walked. I remember as a young lass going out with my best friend, night cruising Jefferson (her car was better than mine is now). Every woman we saw we would excitedly ask, "OH MY GOD - IS THAT A HOOKER?" Memories...

O'Rourke's Article:
Photos – Robert pence
Sweet Home Toledo

Toledo's Beautiful Phallus

How Low Can You Logo is a competition for Logo Design. In fact, it is to spotlight all things horrific in the world of logo design. Each winner is classic. Make sure to read the product description with the logos. All are reminiscent of my last place of employment:

THAT’S “MS. FROTCH,” TO YOU, BUSTER! Indeed, it is a crack at the Mick! In celebration of March and Saint Patrick (who didn't like snakes), I bring to you one of my favorite reads of the month:  IRISH RACIAL SLURS

Having covered all of that—Now let us look at the REAL issue destroying this God Fearing Nation: GINGERISM:

I demand reparations!

Reverse Gingerism
Most of my family are red heads. The red ranges from a darker auburn all through to a most-definitely-red red. Honorable Daughter #2, at the tender age of 3, once approached me about the hair color issue. The whole thing began when she made a new friend and she was OH SO EXCITED! “Look, Momma! She has blonde hair! JUST LIKE ME!” Indeed, the new friend did. Upon later inquiry, Honorable Daughter #2 revealed that she thought she was “ugly.” “Why would you even think that, HD#2?” Her answer—Because I don’t have red hair. 

I immediately took her on a field trip to Toys-R-Us and Kroger. The first stop was to show her how numerous Barbie was in comparison to Midge. “Woooooooow….”
As ornery as they look
She replied. Then I stood her in the hair

dye aisle of Kroger and together we counted the shades of RED vs the shades of BLONDE (I make everything an educational experience.  

People, it is the same recessive gene.

I still demand reparations.


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